Barns Boy,
09/05/2017
Barns Boy,
Well we haven't spoken since that adventurous night! I saw a song on Spotify and had a listen because the singers name is Barns. Barns Courtney - Little Boy. Well I'm glad I found it. It has become one of my new favourite songs. Find it.
I've been thinking a lot about what you said. Basically I don't know how pretty I am and I'd be all that much prettier if I looked after myself. Well I do. I shower every day, scrub my face, exercise, whiten my teeth and so on. So, what exactly did you mean by it? How else shall I look after myself? I wear make up when I feel like it and don't straighten my hair everyday but that isn't exactly self neglect. I've been wearing make up a lot since you said that though. I did full contour for lesson today.
I've made a happy playlist on Spotify. I feel great lately. I know we haven't spoken since Saturday morning and it's Tuesday evening now. You'll be at football. I hope you won. It's not really been an issue not talking to you, unlike normally. I've been so busy with work and assignment's that I haven't thought about you as much as usual. I've been busy buying wall paper too! Shauna and I did a base coat of paint in our new front room, ready for her to paint it green. My bedroom wall paper is daisies on a grey background and it's so pretty! Honestly, it's adorable. I'm going for a white, yellow and grey colour scheme now. That wall paper changed everything.
The offer still stands, you can stay over any time you want. I know you hate it at the bungalow and I don't want you to be unhappy. You can over stay your welcome and I'll not even bat an eye lash. You may have to butter Shauna up with meals out though. I don't see you doing that but I think you and Shauna's boyfriend, Loyd, have a lot in common so that will be cool. You'll probably come to my house just to use our gym. I'm moving in to a house with a gym. Can you believe it?
I'm ever so happy of late. Maybe that comment you made about how sad my life is made me try and think more positively. Maybe it's because I know I'm finally going home. Living with Shauna will be a nightmare at times but it's just what I need to feel myself again. Lately I really have been feeling like myself again. I haven't felt like this since we first met, hopefully it will last. I'm getting cracked on with my assignments, there are a lot of them and they're all due at once. I'm ever so motivated and I don't know why but, boy oh boy, do I like it!
I'm going to the auditorium next week with my dad, we're going to see a play about Simon and Garfunkel. It's a bit of a tribute thing. The singers are women so it's going to sound a bit different but I'm quite excited. Next month I'll be at the races, I can not wait! I'm going to look beautiful (well as pretty as I get) with a full face of make up, new outfit, hair done and a bottle of wine for confidence. Hopefully I'll get some good horse tips. I'm not too bothered about seeing Olly Murs perform live but he's got a few good songs. Hopefully it won't be too awful being with the girls. I complain about people a lot and there's only really my sister who I 100% like in this world. She's flawless to me. I love that girl.
I'm still kind of uncomfortable about seeing you'd used a condom. I mean I bought that bed; For us. I didn't react badly though and I still haven't. It just makes me think, was she the girl who got you liking all of that filth. You've changed so much. I've changed too. We've changed. Maybe we've grown apart. I keep thinking that, we've just changed too much and gone too far away from one another. I'm still here whenever you need me. Maybe that's why we haven't spoken. Maybe it's why I'm not fussed about the lack of communication. I know we've both been away from each other, in that way. It just shocked me after you'd opened up. I can't believe you had her bobble where I kept my clothes. Well I'll get off of this subject. I've been not really thinking of the crappy stuff. Honestly, I've been thinking positively as often as possible, trying to pretend I didn't see those things. I can see why you do it. Pretending it hasn't happened sort of makes it feel like it hasn't.
You got brave for a moment there, whether it was purely from alcohol or not doesn't matter. It was nice to see you be brave. Where as me, I've resorted to caring what people think. I've crept in on myself a bit. We're swapping personality traits or something. I guess I was brave for being there too.
"No, I don't wanna know
Where you been or where you're going
But I know I won't be home
And you'll be on your own" - Selena Gomez et al.
Maybe we're separate now. Just keep thinking happy thoughts, I think I will too.
Anyway, I'll get finishing my assignments! There's a lot of work to do, I'll try and remember to tell you about my adventures!
Have fun at football,
C.
Barns Boy,
Well we haven't spoken since that adventurous night! I saw a song on Spotify and had a listen because the singers name is Barns. Barns Courtney - Little Boy. Well I'm glad I found it. It has become one of my new favourite songs. Find it.
I've been thinking a lot about what you said. Basically I don't know how pretty I am and I'd be all that much prettier if I looked after myself. Well I do. I shower every day, scrub my face, exercise, whiten my teeth and so on. So, what exactly did you mean by it? How else shall I look after myself? I wear make up when I feel like it and don't straighten my hair everyday but that isn't exactly self neglect. I've been wearing make up a lot since you said that though. I did full contour for lesson today.
I've made a happy playlist on Spotify. I feel great lately. I know we haven't spoken since Saturday morning and it's Tuesday evening now. You'll be at football. I hope you won. It's not really been an issue not talking to you, unlike normally. I've been so busy with work and assignment's that I haven't thought about you as much as usual. I've been busy buying wall paper too! Shauna and I did a base coat of paint in our new front room, ready for her to paint it green. My bedroom wall paper is daisies on a grey background and it's so pretty! Honestly, it's adorable. I'm going for a white, yellow and grey colour scheme now. That wall paper changed everything.
The offer still stands, you can stay over any time you want. I know you hate it at the bungalow and I don't want you to be unhappy. You can over stay your welcome and I'll not even bat an eye lash. You may have to butter Shauna up with meals out though. I don't see you doing that but I think you and Shauna's boyfriend, Loyd, have a lot in common so that will be cool. You'll probably come to my house just to use our gym. I'm moving in to a house with a gym. Can you believe it?
I'm ever so happy of late. Maybe that comment you made about how sad my life is made me try and think more positively. Maybe it's because I know I'm finally going home. Living with Shauna will be a nightmare at times but it's just what I need to feel myself again. Lately I really have been feeling like myself again. I haven't felt like this since we first met, hopefully it will last. I'm getting cracked on with my assignments, there are a lot of them and they're all due at once. I'm ever so motivated and I don't know why but, boy oh boy, do I like it!
I'm going to the auditorium next week with my dad, we're going to see a play about Simon and Garfunkel. It's a bit of a tribute thing. The singers are women so it's going to sound a bit different but I'm quite excited. Next month I'll be at the races, I can not wait! I'm going to look beautiful (well as pretty as I get) with a full face of make up, new outfit, hair done and a bottle of wine for confidence. Hopefully I'll get some good horse tips. I'm not too bothered about seeing Olly Murs perform live but he's got a few good songs. Hopefully it won't be too awful being with the girls. I complain about people a lot and there's only really my sister who I 100% like in this world. She's flawless to me. I love that girl.
I'm still kind of uncomfortable about seeing you'd used a condom. I mean I bought that bed; For us. I didn't react badly though and I still haven't. It just makes me think, was she the girl who got you liking all of that filth. You've changed so much. I've changed too. We've changed. Maybe we've grown apart. I keep thinking that, we've just changed too much and gone too far away from one another. I'm still here whenever you need me. Maybe that's why we haven't spoken. Maybe it's why I'm not fussed about the lack of communication. I know we've both been away from each other, in that way. It just shocked me after you'd opened up. I can't believe you had her bobble where I kept my clothes. Well I'll get off of this subject. I've been not really thinking of the crappy stuff. Honestly, I've been thinking positively as often as possible, trying to pretend I didn't see those things. I can see why you do it. Pretending it hasn't happened sort of makes it feel like it hasn't.
You got brave for a moment there, whether it was purely from alcohol or not doesn't matter. It was nice to see you be brave. Where as me, I've resorted to caring what people think. I've crept in on myself a bit. We're swapping personality traits or something. I guess I was brave for being there too.
"No, I don't wanna know
Where you been or where you're going
But I know I won't be home
And you'll be on your own" - Selena Gomez et al.
Maybe we're separate now. Just keep thinking happy thoughts, I think I will too.
Anyway, I'll get finishing my assignments! There's a lot of work to do, I'll try and remember to tell you about my adventures!
Have fun at football,
C.
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