Hiya Barns,
12/07/2017
Hiya Barns,
Sorry for the profanity last time! I'm starting to pack your things and the things you got me. Five dates within eight days, six if you count our hang out which I do not. I do not want to jinx myself but it is like something clicked. Yes, I'll love you always but I think I am just over you. It is like learning to drive, one day it just clicks and you can handle it. I can not handle driving, you know I am utterly rubbish, but I can handle being without you. I am having such an amazing time with other guys and I am really starting to like other people. I used to date people to get me over you but now I am dating because I am over you. It is so different, more fun. I have had cocktail dates, house party dates, McDonalds dates, driving dates, pub dates, Hubbard's hill dates and just wonderful moments. I love dating interesting people. I am not all caught up on having a romantic relationship but rather the wonderful intellectual conversations and hilarious stories and jokes. I am dating someone who makes me think about things, someone intelligent. He is far more intelligent than I, we have debates and talk of books while I try to impress him. I am also dating someone who makes me feel so comfortable being utterly, unapologetically myself. He takes me walking through wilderness in the early night and makes me laugh.
I have all of these personalities. On one side I am a lover of great literature, an intelligent human with an avid interest in the world. A person who talks of books, politics and art while wearing the trends. The other side is the common girl who likes a simple McDonalds and a walk through wildlife, cracking rude jokes with innuendo's and blue jeans. These two guys let me be these two separate people. All in all I am a little bit of everything, I thrive in intellectual conversation one date and the other I am laughing about my petty enemies and bra size.
"I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one" - Meredith Brooks
I do not need to be defined. I do not need to be your type. One day, whenever that is, I will be someone's type and they will be mine and none of this will ever matter. I do not doubt I will love you, underneath the life I create, however I doubt you will be a part of that requited love. Maybe I will never love again or be loved. Who knows? Not I, nor do I care. This freedom from you feels so empowering. I like myself today, more than usual. This is probably because I like you less.
Hiya Barns,
Sorry for the profanity last time! I'm starting to pack your things and the things you got me. Five dates within eight days, six if you count our hang out which I do not. I do not want to jinx myself but it is like something clicked. Yes, I'll love you always but I think I am just over you. It is like learning to drive, one day it just clicks and you can handle it. I can not handle driving, you know I am utterly rubbish, but I can handle being without you. I am having such an amazing time with other guys and I am really starting to like other people. I used to date people to get me over you but now I am dating because I am over you. It is so different, more fun. I have had cocktail dates, house party dates, McDonalds dates, driving dates, pub dates, Hubbard's hill dates and just wonderful moments. I love dating interesting people. I am not all caught up on having a romantic relationship but rather the wonderful intellectual conversations and hilarious stories and jokes. I am dating someone who makes me think about things, someone intelligent. He is far more intelligent than I, we have debates and talk of books while I try to impress him. I am also dating someone who makes me feel so comfortable being utterly, unapologetically myself. He takes me walking through wilderness in the early night and makes me laugh.
I have all of these personalities. On one side I am a lover of great literature, an intelligent human with an avid interest in the world. A person who talks of books, politics and art while wearing the trends. The other side is the common girl who likes a simple McDonalds and a walk through wildlife, cracking rude jokes with innuendo's and blue jeans. These two guys let me be these two separate people. All in all I am a little bit of everything, I thrive in intellectual conversation one date and the other I am laughing about my petty enemies and bra size.
"I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one" - Meredith Brooks
I do not need to be defined. I do not need to be your type. One day, whenever that is, I will be someone's type and they will be mine and none of this will ever matter. I do not doubt I will love you, underneath the life I create, however I doubt you will be a part of that requited love. Maybe I will never love again or be loved. Who knows? Not I, nor do I care. This freedom from you feels so empowering. I like myself today, more than usual. This is probably because I like you less.
It is hard to imagine and yet so real. I am as free as the birds along the skyline of the shores.
Love,
C.
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