Hi Barney,
19/07/2017
Hi Barney,
Thanks for the moment where you looked like a Greek God and I felt powerless beneath your beauty. That was a good moment. You put me off other people, you are far superior. You make me want to wait for you, although I know that is a ridiculous idea. My, oh, my, you are beautiful. Will I ever love again? Would I want to? Even with our disastrous chain of events, could I love another in the way I loved you?
It has been a disaster, hasn't it? Yet, here we are, both clinging on to each other. Never letting go of what should have been and gone. We both know, I am caring less and less. With a sober mind, I have refrained from saying 'I love you'. I could not do that before. The feeling's I had for you are now shaky, there is nothing definite anymore.
I just took a pause from writing this, I watched Table 19. It is actually a perfect film. It honestly is so perfect. The reason I believe it to be perfection is because there is this whole thing about how love is finding someone who does not disappoint you. Not exactly that they do not disappoint you, more the forgiveness. If you watch it, it might explain what I want from you.
I want you to be the only person I disappoint, the one person who will always find it in their heart to forgive me. I want to be the only person that you disappoint, with enough love in my heart to always forgive you. Well that sounded better in the film. The point being that we disappoint each other but love each other enough that it does not matter. Forgiven and love conquers the rest. Like I said, it sounds better in the film.
I do not want you to have a life without me, I make that clear. I should be happy for you but I honestly do not want to know about your life. It hurts me to be told of things going on with you, rather than being a part of it. I want to be a part of your life. It is not happening, clearly. I doubt it ever will, with your robot emotions and my passion. We counteract each other. We we're never meant to last this long. I want to be in Scotland with you and everywhere else.
"Party girls don't get hurt. Can't feel anything, when will I learn? I push it down, push it down." - SIA
That song is my current state of mind. I'm the girl for a good time, nothing more, no strings attached but I am still your puppet.
In my mind I am torn between loving you and not. I am confused and flawed. As are you. Does that matter though? Should it matter? People do not make relationships work these days, everyone gives up. What if I do not want to give up? What if I am not ready?
From,
C.
Hi Barney,
Thanks for the moment where you looked like a Greek God and I felt powerless beneath your beauty. That was a good moment. You put me off other people, you are far superior. You make me want to wait for you, although I know that is a ridiculous idea. My, oh, my, you are beautiful. Will I ever love again? Would I want to? Even with our disastrous chain of events, could I love another in the way I loved you?
It has been a disaster, hasn't it? Yet, here we are, both clinging on to each other. Never letting go of what should have been and gone. We both know, I am caring less and less. With a sober mind, I have refrained from saying 'I love you'. I could not do that before. The feeling's I had for you are now shaky, there is nothing definite anymore.
I just took a pause from writing this, I watched Table 19. It is actually a perfect film. It honestly is so perfect. The reason I believe it to be perfection is because there is this whole thing about how love is finding someone who does not disappoint you. Not exactly that they do not disappoint you, more the forgiveness. If you watch it, it might explain what I want from you.
I want you to be the only person I disappoint, the one person who will always find it in their heart to forgive me. I want to be the only person that you disappoint, with enough love in my heart to always forgive you. Well that sounded better in the film. The point being that we disappoint each other but love each other enough that it does not matter. Forgiven and love conquers the rest. Like I said, it sounds better in the film.
I do not want you to have a life without me, I make that clear. I should be happy for you but I honestly do not want to know about your life. It hurts me to be told of things going on with you, rather than being a part of it. I want to be a part of your life. It is not happening, clearly. I doubt it ever will, with your robot emotions and my passion. We counteract each other. We we're never meant to last this long. I want to be in Scotland with you and everywhere else.
"Party girls don't get hurt. Can't feel anything, when will I learn? I push it down, push it down." - SIA
That song is my current state of mind. I'm the girl for a good time, nothing more, no strings attached but I am still your puppet.
In my mind I am torn between loving you and not. I am confused and flawed. As are you. Does that matter though? Should it matter? People do not make relationships work these days, everyone gives up. What if I do not want to give up? What if I am not ready?
From,
C.
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