Hey Barney,
20/06/2017
Hey Barney,
Obviously the reminder on my phone to write has not worked as intended. It has been a while since we've spoke. Thing's are changing a lot between us. My feelings become severely less felt. You had a free house last night and I practically invited myself over for some fun. We do have fun. Until we don't.
It was weird, I had not told you 'I love you' all day. Then at the last minute as you drifted to sleep in the summer heat the words I'm not sure I meant left my lips. 'I love you' I think..
So we had fun, sure, but it really was a friendship sort of hang out wasn't it? You made jokes about my dating life and then felt guilty. I think you felt guilty because of my explanation for such an avid dating life. I date so much because I have no future with you, I have to accept that, and now I force myself to move on because I truly know we're done.
I should write more, I'm sorry I don't. I get to this point when I decide to write to you and my feelings are too bleak to really string some words together well. My passion comes out when I write and right now there's not a lot of passion. You already know I have been dating some pretty cool people, or talking to them. It's weird. They all look like you. As much as my feeling's are truly starting to disappear, I still intend to not work on our 'anniversary' would have been dates.
We first met: 24/06/2014
We you know: 07/06/2014
We got together: 09/07/2014
So those dates remain in my head and still matter. You find it cute, I find it pathetic.
I had some issues at work that are sort of resolved in my head. I think I may have landed a new job. I have spent pretty much all week with Steph and it really lifted my spirits. Maybe living with dad is actually too much for me now. Not long until I move out though. It's been a great week, talking to boys and swimming in the inflatable pool Steph came home with. She is a legend and a light in my life. Shauna facetimed me this morning, that was lovely. I napped and I shouldn't have but you made me tired!! My date bailed on me after I spend over an hour getting ready, I wore the dress you don't really like. It makes me feel like a fairy.
I can't believe you've been speaking in group chat, it gives me hope for a few seconds but then I have a drink and cry over you. I cried so bad, Steph did not want me to see you. You do not always realise how low you make me feel. It's ok though. I get compliments elsewhere. I guess that is why I like talking to guys. I wish you were bothered that I do talk to guys though. I'm bothered that you do. It's not my place though. I miss you sometimes and sometimes I don't. It really does get easier. It's been so long. I guess this is why this is a moving on letter system.
"Honey, I'll come get my things but I can't let go.
Oh, I wish I could get my things and just let go." - Lorde.
One day we'll be over forever. One day I will love again. That will be the day you want me the most.
Love, I think, love from,
C
Hey Barney,
Obviously the reminder on my phone to write has not worked as intended. It has been a while since we've spoke. Thing's are changing a lot between us. My feelings become severely less felt. You had a free house last night and I practically invited myself over for some fun. We do have fun. Until we don't.
It was weird, I had not told you 'I love you' all day. Then at the last minute as you drifted to sleep in the summer heat the words I'm not sure I meant left my lips. 'I love you' I think..
So we had fun, sure, but it really was a friendship sort of hang out wasn't it? You made jokes about my dating life and then felt guilty. I think you felt guilty because of my explanation for such an avid dating life. I date so much because I have no future with you, I have to accept that, and now I force myself to move on because I truly know we're done.
I should write more, I'm sorry I don't. I get to this point when I decide to write to you and my feelings are too bleak to really string some words together well. My passion comes out when I write and right now there's not a lot of passion. You already know I have been dating some pretty cool people, or talking to them. It's weird. They all look like you. As much as my feeling's are truly starting to disappear, I still intend to not work on our 'anniversary' would have been dates.
We first met: 24/06/2014
We you know: 07/06/2014
We got together: 09/07/2014
So those dates remain in my head and still matter. You find it cute, I find it pathetic.
I had some issues at work that are sort of resolved in my head. I think I may have landed a new job. I have spent pretty much all week with Steph and it really lifted my spirits. Maybe living with dad is actually too much for me now. Not long until I move out though. It's been a great week, talking to boys and swimming in the inflatable pool Steph came home with. She is a legend and a light in my life. Shauna facetimed me this morning, that was lovely. I napped and I shouldn't have but you made me tired!! My date bailed on me after I spend over an hour getting ready, I wore the dress you don't really like. It makes me feel like a fairy.
I can't believe you've been speaking in group chat, it gives me hope for a few seconds but then I have a drink and cry over you. I cried so bad, Steph did not want me to see you. You do not always realise how low you make me feel. It's ok though. I get compliments elsewhere. I guess that is why I like talking to guys. I wish you were bothered that I do talk to guys though. I'm bothered that you do. It's not my place though. I miss you sometimes and sometimes I don't. It really does get easier. It's been so long. I guess this is why this is a moving on letter system.
"Honey, I'll come get my things but I can't let go.
Oh, I wish I could get my things and just let go." - Lorde.
One day we'll be over forever. One day I will love again. That will be the day you want me the most.
Love, I think, love from,
C
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